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Healers Talk Healing Podcast
The Healers Talk Healing podcast invites you on a transformative journey towards holistic healing, where we explore the mind-body connection, natural remedies, and ancient wisdom to empower you to live a vibrant and balanced life. Join us as we share inspiring stories, expert interviews, and practical tips to help you unlock your true potential and embrace a happier, healthier you.
Healers Talk Healing Podcast
Forgiveness, Healing and Authentic Living a Mother-Daughter Conversation
What if the key to true healing lies in a complete acceptance of ourselves and our surroundings? In this heartfelt episode of Healers Talk Healing, I, Nina Ganguli, switch roles and become the guest as my daughter, Sarika, takes the reins. We journey through my personal path of forgiveness, self-discovery, and how I handle everyday challenges to stay authentic. We confront the critical inner voices, like my own named Elvira, who often complicates our lives with unmet expectations and defensiveness. Together, we emphasize the importance of owning our emotions, managing inner narratives, and positively harnessing our energies through Reiki and chakras.
Facing disagreements, especially with parents, unveils layers of instinctual reactions and defensiveness. This episode breaks down the fight or flight response, the introspective journey to understand our behaviors, and the power of open communication. We explore the evolution of critical inner voices from overt harshness to subtle whispers and the profound realization that taking responsibility means recognizing our ability to respond. Discover how these internal dialogues, personified through characters like "Elvira," shape our personal growth and emotional resilience.
Parenting amid a healing journey presents its own set of challenges, from allowing children their independence to managing unresolved anger. As we share personal stories, we highlight the importance of self-expression in both personal and professional realms, the impact of parental influence during adolescence, and the transformative power of confronting past traumas. We close with a poignant reflection on the emotional hurdles mothers face when their children are in pain, underscoring the necessity of open communication and ongoing journeys toward emotional healing and acceptance. This episode is a sincere exploration of turning flaws and pain into growth, offering a roadmap to authentic living.
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Welcome to Healers Talk Healing, the podcast where we gather to explore the art and science of holistic healing, uncovering the secrets to a happier, healthier you. I'm your host, Nina Ganguly, and together we will delve into the intriguing world of holistic healing, delving into the mind-body connection, ancient wisdom and natural remedies to the mind-body connection, ancient wisdom and natural remedies. Get ready for enlightening stories, thought-provoking expert interviews and practical tips that will empower you to unlock your true potential and embrace a vibrant, balanced life. Whether you're an experienced wellness enthusiast or simply curious about the power of healing, join us on this exhilarating journey as we share the wisdom and insights that can truly transform your life. It's time to embark on a voyage towards a happier, healthier you. So, without further ado, let's dive into the captivating world of Healers Talk Healing.
Speaker 1:Join us on this episode as I, Nina Ganguly, make a rare switch from host to guest, with my daughter Sarika guiding the conversation. We unpack the profound concept of healing as the complete acceptance of oneself and one's surroundings, Sharing my personal journey of forgiveness, acceptance and self-discovery. Journey of forgiveness, acceptance and self-discovery. Listen as we navigate the moment-by-moment challenges of staying true to my playful, authentic self in an ever-changing world. Ever wonder why certain conflicts trigger such profound reactions, Discover the story behind a clash with my father and the subsequent self-reflection that followed. Through this narrative, we explore the nature of my critical inner voice, whom I've named Elvira, and how unmet expectations can fuel our defensiveness.
Speaker 1:This episode uncovers the importance of taking responsibility for our emotions and managing the inner narratives that impact our relationships. Manipulation, self-awareness and personal growth might seem like two separate topics, but they are all interconnected in the journey of healing. We tackle the nuanced role of manipulation, not as a negative trait, but as a tool that, when used wisely, can lead to positive outcomes, From the impact of upbringing on behavior to the continuous process of self-improvement. We discuss the importance of self-expression through Reiki and chakras. Finally, we reflect on the honor and responsibility of being a healer. Finally, we reflect on the honor and responsibility of being a healer, emphasizing that genuine transformation comes from accepting our flaws and turning pain into personal and communal growth.
Speaker 2:We are good, you are good, we're good, okay, well, hello welcome to our episode of healers talk healing with nina ganguly.
Speaker 1:This is a little different, right, I'm the one who is hosting, but today we're doing something a little different, where Sarika is part of the team on Healers Talk Healing and part of Miracles Directory team, or Miracles, and so she's going to be asking me some questions today, which is kind of exciting, and so the floor is yours, my dear.
Speaker 2:All right. Well, nina happens to be my mother, so this will be very fun, very exciting, I'm sure. Now let's get right into it, and I'm going to ask you what is your definition of healing?
Speaker 1:You would think that I would have something right at the top of my head, because I asked this of all of our guests and really I think you know I was thinking about this the other day because I knew we were going to be recording this and I was thinking about, well, what would be my answer, and the first thing that came to me was like complete acceptance of self and everything that surrounds self. When you can accept what is, what isn't, who is who isn't, I don't think anything can infiltrate than your peace of mind, which is something that's so important to me. Peace of mind and full self-expression, these are things that I'm picking up along the way, as I am also still on a healing journey, so I really do believe that it is all about accepting.
Speaker 1:It's kind of like Eckhart Tolle's power of now, which is being able to observe what's going on without any sort of reaction, and that is not easy no, it's not, it's easy for me to say it's about acceptance, and I say that all the time, like even on my other podcast, which is, you know, from victim to victory, and all about forgiveness, and forgiveness is true, true forgiveness, I believe, is acceptance, like accepting everything the way it is, and it's easy to say. It's just one word acceptance.
Speaker 2:It's so easy it's not it's not so easy in practice that's for sure. Well then, I'd like to know what is your forgiveness and acceptance journey?
Speaker 1:look like what does what does mine look like? It's an everyday phenomenon. There's every day. I am working on accepting you know a tone uh, uh, joke, I'm super. As I'm getting older, I'm actually discovering how sensitive I am. Now I'm also perimenopausal, let me just put that out there. So many of us are already become more sensitive and highly irritable, but I have noticed in my observation of self that I'm I'm very sensitive, even like little things. Little, tiny little things impact me. So then it's like okay, well, there's a level, of moment by moment, I have to accept things the way they are, without judging self, without judging others. It's a whole lot of head work actually is what's going on right now in my head and certain things I'm good with now, certain things I'm like oh okay, it's just this, is just the way it is. However, if I were to go back I know it's a loaded. You asked me a loaded question, so I'm going to give you a loaded answer I, you know, I'm constantly looking at where are my thoughts coming from, where did they grow from?
Speaker 1:Where was the seed implanted? That I think the way I do, and I discovered, or maybe rediscovered, for myself. I grew up in a very critical environment. So I am highly critical and I also did a lot of development in looking for what's not working so that I can insert something that would make it work. So it would be better. So imagine that that's my brain all the time. So it is a critical thinking. Not only do I critically think, from like in a broader perspective, but I'm critical. I'm critical of others, I'm critical of self. And so the journey now, I think, is accepting the darker parts of me that I haven't really gone and looked at. You know, I was looking at the darker parts of others and how those darker parts impacted me. And now my forgiveness and acceptance journey is about forgiving myself for how I turned out to be and at this age I'm 50 plus it's an interesting journey. It's it's. It's an interesting journey.
Speaker 1:And I know sometimes you ask, you'll ask me mom, where are you right now? Like where, like what's going on? You look a lot of the time. You know sometimes dad will say you know you look upset, you, you're, you're you, you look like you're not having a good time and that's not the truth. The truth is the introspection. I am having a good time, but the introspection is huh, why am I having that thought and the thought maybe is irritating me, like I'm getting irritated at my irritation. Yep, I can. I can, I can understand that, because that is not who I see myself authentically to be. Okay, authentically I am. Do you remember one day? You told me the other day you said there's something that changes in my eyes when I'm completely authentic.
Speaker 2:Yeah, and yourself, and happy yeah.
Speaker 1:Yeah, and so that is who I am and maybe for the listeners you know you're not going to understand that because you don't see me every day but it really, uh, I'm much more childlike, more playful, um, giddy. So it's like who I am with a glass of wine and it's sad to say that that's when it mostly comes out. Or I'm on vacation without, even without any kind of you know substance or any, like no alcohol or anything like that. But that is, that has been. That's the journey finding those moments minute by minute, day by day, and I'm challenged because situations are changing all the time, and recognizing my thought patterns and recognizing, well, this thought pattern doesn't work. What thought pattern do you want to place in here? But like that's constantly thinking, so I'm constantly thinking, I guess. I mean, aren't we all?
Speaker 2:Yes, it's like a constant battle with yourself pretty much all the time, 24, seven. Yeah, I experienced that every day as well, so I can completely understand. It's always like or your question, your thoughts, why, why are you thinking like that? And that leads to more thoughts, and now you're more annoyed than you were, you know, 10 seconds ago.
Speaker 1:Well, I think that one of the biggest challenges for me lately has been well, with, with experience, you know mostly how a situation is going to turn out, so you prepare yourself Okay, this is the way the situation is going to be, this is how things are going to go Not 100%, but there's a preparation so that your mindset is where it needs to be, and I have the talk with myself, I gear myself up and it does end up being exactly what I thought it was going to be. And I'm still irritated, yep, and I'm still critical of the situations, and I find that irritating at the level of self. So, when I'm talking about healing and maybe I'm repeating myself it really truly is like healing those patterns right now that are not giving me peace of mind and not allowing my full self-expression to show up not allowing my full self-expression to to show up.
Speaker 2:So how do you go about interrupting those thoughts then and trying to rework or rewire those thoughts, or how your brain regularly thinks? That leads to the critical thinking or the lack of acceptance.
Speaker 1:I think it's a. It's really about observation, like the true observation of self in the moment. The other day, dad and I had a disagreement, and you know he was. He was really working hard at trying to communicate and I was watching myself not allowing him to do so. I was like I don't want to communicate, I don't want to hear what you're saying, I don't want to work it out. My initial feeling was run. That's usually my initial feeling, for when I'm in a situation where I'm not comfortable, I just I, you know, fight or flight. I I'm like I'm out and if I don't get to go out, then I fight. So I watched. So he left this. He had to, you know, leave.
Speaker 1:We were actually at an appointment and he had to leave and go get something done. He had to go to these, the appointment, and I sat there and I thought, okay, so what's going on? Where I am unwilling? That's this is the observation. What is going on right now? That I'm unwilling to be the person I said I want to be, I want to be communicative, I want to understand, I want to hear, listen, be open, and I'm not doing that right now. And what happened in that moment is I realized I wanted something to go a certain way, or I wanted to communicate something, and it didn't come out as loving or kind. It came out harshly, which I didn't even realize, because that's the critical part of me, the defensive part of me. And when he came back from his appointment, I was able to say you know, my reaction came from this need to be a certain way and it came out like it wasn't critical of you.
Speaker 1:I think experience is when you I'm not sure how to say this, but I'm just going to say it. So you know, like, yeah, like, when you want something to happen or you want to take care of someone and you feel like you're not doing a good job, then your response to the situation or the person is defensive. There's no, like, okay, well, you know how can we resolve this and and come together. So this is what I'm looking at. I'm looking at being able to listen for the dark parts of myself and be like, not be like oh my God like I've done something to hurt someone. So now I've got to be defensive, now I've got to be like this and like all of this stuff comes up and that's what actually happened in the moment.
Speaker 1:You know, he got triggered about something I said. Then I got triggered by what he got triggered by and then I was like, well, why am I triggered by that? This is so crazy. This is like insane, that this is so crazy, this is like insane. I'm telling him he's crazy, but really maybe I'm crazy and this is what goes on in my head. That's how I work it out. I have to work it out that way, and or I go to my tribe. I have a tribe of um true, true women who will support me and be like I get you're angry, I understand you're angry, but where is your responsibility in this? And I have a hard time when somebody says that where's your responsibility in this? Because immediately I don't think about responsibility as power, I think of it as oh man, I did something wrong.
Speaker 2:Yeah, yep, I think a lot of people feel like that too.
Speaker 1:Yeah, it is responsible. Really means your ability to respond and, because of the way I was brought up, responsible means I'm at fault for something. Yeah, and it takes something yes. I've been on a healing journey for 17 years and it's it. I think I'm much better than I was 17 years ago. I had no clue how I reacted to things. I had no idea.
Speaker 1:You know who was talking here. Was this, you know, the enlightened Nina or the angry Nina, or the 13 year old or the 20, like who was showing up? You know, and and I think we all struggle with who we are in those moments what sort of incident or trauma has caused us to react, the way that we react, and when we can grab hold of it and see it like you can't unsee something. Once you've seen it Right, yep, that is true. And then, once you've seen it right, yep, that's true. And then, once you've, okay, when you didn't know, maybe you can get a uh, you know, get out of jail free card because you didn't know. But once you know there's no more getting out of jail free, yep, you know. That is when your ability to respond makes the hugest hugest.
Speaker 2:You said something really interesting about your 13 year old self, your angry self, your enlightened self. You have a name for a voice that is in your head that I would love, I think would be really interesting to talk about, because you know we did a lot of work about our inner voices or not so nice inner voices, especially at one of your events which I think a lot of people could benefit from ah yeah.
Speaker 1:So I call her Elvira and she is a nasty woman. Man, she's nasty, nasty, nasty. She used to scream at me before. She used to scream and it would be a loud scream, but she's gotten very good at manipulating the situation. She doesn't scream anymore, she whispers. Wow, and I'm just actually realizing this as we're speaking. It's the little whisper, it's the little condescending remark, and maybe not about myself, maybe it's about somebody else because ego is being dented about something, maybe it's a feeling in the physical being that happens. But Elvira is not as loud as she used to be. She's not as nasty, overtly, as she used to be.
Speaker 1:Like literally, she used to be like get off the effing couch, like you need to do something, like what's wrong with you? Why are you just sitting here? Now? It's like oh, it's okay, you don't have to get off the couch if you don't want to. I'm like no, no, but I got stuff to do. Oh, no, you can have a pass. You know the little like it's. It's she, it's she's smart, she sounds manipulative, she's very manipulative and what I discovered? She's a part of me. So I say about who I am and I realized I am manipulative when I want to get something. It's manipulation. Okay, so understand the definition of manipulation is changing something?
Speaker 2:Yeah.
Speaker 1:So that you can make it work Right. So it's not always a bad thing, just like responsibility is not always a bad thing. Will I use manipulation to get something out of some?
Speaker 2:Yeah, we all do Like who doesn't? Everybody does.
Speaker 1:when they want their way for something, they will manipulate you know like successful people will manipulate situations so that the outcome turns out the best for everybody involved. That's what you have to do, right. Like you know, we just spent 20 minutes trying to manipulate the sounds so it works properly.
Speaker 1:Yeah, we did so that's called manipulation. But I realized that when I don't get my own way, I start thinking what should I say? It's automatic. What should I say? How should I say it? What do I need to do to, to, to get my, to get what I want. And when I don't get what I want, oh boy, I am not nice. Oh boy, I am not nice.
Speaker 1:That's the darker part of me, the part that I'm like okay, where is this coming from? And it's, it's always. Unfortunately, it always goes back to our upbringing. You know those critical moments where we were. You know, now I'm not five years old, or I'm not six years old, or I'm not 13 years old, or I'm not six years old, I'm not 13 years old.
Speaker 1:And my voice starts to say to my what I start to say to myself is you've got to parent yourself, you. You're 55 years old almost. You need to come and parent to yourself. It's, it's time that you know you don't use the excuse of whatever excuse I use. You know it's it's to be a grownup. I see myself do it all the time Like, oh, I'm going to be, I just want to be a kid right now. I don't want to do this, I don't want to take this responsibility. I don't want to do this. Like you know, um the listeners don't know. You're like my accountability person, Right? So when you ask me things that I have not done, I'm not always nice in my response. Well, most of the time I'm not nice, actually not all.
Speaker 1:Like most responses, 99% of the time not nice, no, and I try and use the trump card. I'm mom, yep, so don't talk to me that way or don't ask me a question like that. Yeah, that's, that's my shadow self, because I don't want to be held accountable, or I feel bad, or I feel guilty, or I'm like well, who's losing out at the end? Really?
Speaker 2:You are.
Speaker 1:Yeah, the healing journey. It is definitely. It is a journey. There's layers and layers and layers. I do know when I look back how far I've come, but I still know there's a. There's a long way to go, you know, to get to monk status. I don't want to be a monk, but you know what other kind of?
Speaker 1:status, like not getting irked by somebody who cut me off and not getting irked by a tone which is who? That is a. That's a big one for me. Tone is a big one where I have not come near mastering yet.
Speaker 2:I feel like tone is hard because you can always tell what the tone means. It's not like you can hide what a tone means when someone's speaking to you that way, so I can understand why they'd be. So I can already feel getting irritated by someone's tone.
Speaker 1:And it's so funny because we know what tones irritate other people too. I know I know what tone irritates. I know you know what tone irritates. We know, we know there's a lot of things we know and you know what. We're not perfect. We're not perfect and you know healing is not a perfect journey. And I know, like there are some people who would say, well, you've been doing this for 17 years, you should be over xyz. Some things like I want to show that some things are at cellular levels, like there's a ton of research now that shows the impact of trauma or traumatic events on people's physiology. Think about it. Think about when you get angry. Before you react, there's some sort of physical sensation that happens. When I feel guilty, there's a certain sort of thing that happens and because I'm a reiki master, I know what's my throat chakra and my heart chakra right there are like like they tense up they actually tense up.
Speaker 1:Wow, it used to be in my stomach. Not, it doesn't sit in my stomach anymore, it sits like up here and here, because I'm not being authentically self-expressed because, it's coming okay, I see anger right yeah.
Speaker 2:I see, that makes sense okay yeah and so like.
Speaker 1:because you're yeah, your throat chakra is all about self expression. Well, your heart chakra is about love, and when I'm, when I'm not in alignment with all of those, there's a definite impact.
Speaker 2:Well, now that we brought up Reiki and chakras, I think it's time to tell our listeners of what you do. Who are you?
Speaker 1:to tell our listeners what you do. Who are you? Who am I? Multifaceted, and it's funny now I've I've been working at trying to figure out how to like bring everything together and I just realized there's they don't all have, they don't all have to work together, they're not all married. Who am I? Well, yes, I am a Reiki master and I do work with clients to provide a space that they can heal themselves or have a space where they can just be who they need to be. I'm also a certified life coach, so I do that as well. It's all like those things are kind of all married into into one and the other thing I do well as well.
Speaker 1:Maybe most people don't know what my actual role is, which is I am. I don't even actually know my actual full title, but it's on the director, marketing and branding, and so you know what, what I, what, how. All of those all work together. For me is allowing people, wherever they are, whether it's in their business, in their lives, to be fully self-expressed. So marketing allows the expression of a business to come to life. So marketing allows the expression of a business to come to life.
Speaker 1:Healing allows the expression of self to be exposed and come to life because we're born authentic. We come out and we know exactly what we want. We're not afraid to sit. I'm hungry, I'm dirty, I'm sick, my belly hurts. There's no problem in that self-expression. But as we grow, we get into an environment with others are not fully self-expressed or healed themselves, and so you're in an environment where maybe your full self-expression is triggering somebody else's inability to be fully expressed or how they want to see the world yep, I have experienced that so, like you know, yeah, let's just say it us parents, we mess up our children, my parents messed me up.
Speaker 1:I am sure we've done things to mess you up. And if you pass that on or you have children or you're around children, you may, may, do the same thing as someone who. You know, your immediate reactions, our immediate reactions are for survival. So if we feel that we're being threatened in any way, we're going to do whatever it takes to survive, make up stories in our head, do whatever, whatever it is. So, anyways, I digress in the question that you asked me, which is what do I do? What I do, at all levels, is allow people's full self-expression, whether it's through marketing, branding, coaching, healing. That is what I do, and you know, I just came up with the, with sort of a tagline, which is harmony and hustle, you know, positively empowering growth.
Speaker 2:Yep.
Speaker 1:Join the miracles directory, where healers connect and wellness begins. Join a community of trusted holistic professionals or find your path to healing and peace. Visit the miracles directorycom. Start your journey today.
Speaker 2:It's a lot of work what you do.
Speaker 2:It takes something to allow people to be fully expressed.
Speaker 2:Start your journey today, um, because if you don't know my mother, she has, and my dad have always told me do whatever I want to do, as long as I'm happy, and so that that that is what I take away a lot from all the other you know crap that has happened.
Speaker 2:That is one really positive takeaway, because a lot of people in my life who are my age do not have that experience of their parents allowing themselves to be fully self-expressed, and that was challenging, especially in high school, because I was fully self-expressed but nobody around me was. So it puts a lot of dents and people you know are feel like attacked or less than, and I'm like I'm not doing anything but doing what my parents taught me to do. So it was kind of very interesting to navigate that world at that point. But now that I'm you know, not 16, you know it's eight years later I can appreciate the amount of teachings that you have given me and it's interesting how it came full circle, for what you do with your business is exactly how you kind of raised my brother and I to be is to be fully self-expressed you don't always like it when you're fully self-expressed, but that's okay.
Speaker 1:I actually have a question for you sure, because we never really get into this in our conversations about what has it been like for you as the child of someone who is on that healing journey, who has had such I don't want to make it dramatic, but had a traumatic, dramatic upbringing and then, you know, experiencing someone who is dealing with all of the demons that come along with the healing journey this is a very interesting question because I've never actually thought about it.
Speaker 2:It kind of just happened right because that's, I lived life while you were also on your healing journey I kind of lived it side by side with you, so I don't remember a lot From when I was younger. I'll be honest, my memories of pre-middle school Are next to none. So if we're going way back to when I first Started, when Daldu or your father had passed away, I could not tell you.
Speaker 1:You were six years old, yeah.
Speaker 2:But I'm gonna say it's been a funny, funny journey. I'm gonna say funny because sometimes I'm like I don't know what she's doing. I don't like, I don't get it. It doesn't seem like it's doing anything. And then you know, a year later I'm like, oh well, okay, she did it a year ago. I thought it was dumb, but now I can see the impact of that a year later. It kind of reminds me this is gonna be really funny because I have a I have a science brain, so I'm gonna go a little bit over there.
Speaker 2:There's a lag for a lot of natural events, a lag across the earth, and we don't see the lag until sometimes a year, even five years later. So you could have done something to me that I thought was done five years ago. Because you know I was, you know however old I was 19 I'm like, wow, this doesn't make any sense to me. Why would she be doing that? What? How can that help you heal? How is that possible? How can reliving your trauma help you heal? That was like the number one thing for me. Why would you want to live through that again and then try and heal?
Speaker 2:For, like that blew my mind, okay, and now at 23 I'll be 24 soon I'm like, oh, okay, now I understand, because if you just shove it to the side, you haven't healed from it at all.
Speaker 2:It has gone nowhere but down into your unconscious, subconscious mind and it's yelling at you all the time, constantly. So it is, I would say, being the child is watching you respectably take over your life and take control of your life in a way that you never had before, which is very different than if I were, you know, do the draining myself, because I wouldn't see it that way, and it's kind of sometimes like a mirror, like some things I've experienced you've also already experienced. So I can be like, okay, well, if my mom can heal from that, you know, you know, 40 years after it happened, I'm sure I can heal from that six months after it happened. You know what I mean. So I would say it's definitely been challenging at some points, like there's some stuff I I'm sure you know, know, or all of us as a cohesive family unit have thought were insane, but I can see, for lack of better term, the method to your madness, right?
Speaker 1:yeah, because I can't imagine what it was. You know what it's been like without feeling some. At some points I did feel bad because it didn't make sense. It didn't even make sense to me to be honest with you. Some of the things that I put myself through because you know, you like, nobody forces anyone to do anything literally um, some of the things I put myself through, like, like they were learned. I got a learning out of that. Yeah, why did I say yes to something that would do X, y, z at the end of the day? You know, and you know, I can't imagine what it's like to watch. Well, I can't imagine what am I talking about. I can imagine it, you know.
Speaker 1:It is, I think, one of the most as a mother, watching the growth and development as a child for your child, and not to stick your nose in it, not to say something. Allow the process, which my tribe multiple times have said, step back. Allow the process to happen. You have to. You can only be an observer. At this point is not one of the most, I would say is the most challenging thing. We had this conversation the other day where you were like, mom, why are you so mad about this? Like it doesn't even impact you, but the truth is it does when you, when you are, when somebody came out of of your body, like literally out of your body, or even if they didn't come out of your body and you, you have that love for them. To watch someone be hurt and not want to punch someone in the face is the biggest challenge of life.
Speaker 2:I think, well, I will never understand that, nor do I want to understand that. I have no interest. I spend all day with kids anyways. But I think from I'm going to say from the child's perspective to have someone who is still harboring anger you know, I'm not going to say hate, because I don't know if that's the right, correct term towards something that happened to their kid and to still harbor that. The kid can feel it, and so it's hard for us to then let that go because somebody else around us all the time can still feel it.
Speaker 2:It's like I'm going to give an example when it is my time of the month, my mother can already tell that I'm going to be starting my period at some point and she knows in her whole being that it is going to happen and I'm like, oh, I'm not even close, not possible. But lo and behold, two, three, four days later, you know, mother nature decides to show up and so we are attached with number one cellularly. We are genetically, um, uh, I would say. My mom and I have a fantastic relationship, so even closer than I would say someone else is to their child, because it's an open door policy with my mom always, so I can talk about, whatever do, whatever say, whatever, whatever I need to say can happen, but it is hard from the kid's perspective to have someone who's still angry about something that actually did not happen to them and then that person trying to get over it but someone else is still angry about it that's interesting.
Speaker 1:I think that's a fair statement to say about the impact, because then it's like a con, it becomes some sort of constant conversation in the background. You know exactly, um, and I think it also comes from that. Well, the parent or yeah not having acceptance or forgiveness for the pain that was caused to their child, of course, and I think it's if we can get to that place, you know, because there are some people who just they don't, they're not interested in accepting or forgiving.
Speaker 2:Yeah.
Speaker 1:There are people who are just, they're just not interested. There's a sense of whatever it is. You know, I was in that place for a little bit, you know. You know, having this like being upset with someone and then be like, well, I'm not interested in accepting whatever is happening right now, I'm just not interested, I want to sit in my anger, I want to sit in my bitterness. But what I didn't realize in that moment until it was brought to my attention, that me sitting in the bitterness, me sitting in the anger, was actually impacting everyone around me, because I was horrible to live with everyone around me, because I was horrible to live with Right and then so, okay, so I'm, I don't want it to impact other people, but then we sway, we like this. Like I said, this whole healing journey is like this back and forth pendulum of well, okay, I want to be in my feelings right now, but my feelings are impacting people and and I am a people, people pleaser that's my natural way and state of being.
Speaker 2:It is the way I was brought up it is who I am.
Speaker 1:It is something I have to deal with all the time so that it doesn't impact me, because people pleasing is something about, you know. It comes down to control, it comes, it comes down to self-esteem. It comes down to so many different things, um, but from from my perspective, it comes down to so if the people pleasing is like so that I don't feel like this, everyone has to feel like I have to make sure everything is okay so that it's not impacting my, my state of mind but, anyways.
Speaker 1:Um, what I was getting at is back to right. It's like it's taking us right back to the beginning of the question.
Speaker 2:I was just gonna say, that really mean to me and it is about acceptance.
Speaker 1:it will always, for me, be about acceptance, and it is the it's easy to say but it's challenging to do, because I say, okay, I've accepted it, but then that person might come into my visual and I'm like I'm so mad. I haven't accepted anything.
Speaker 1:When I'm still mad, it's because I haven't communicated authentically with that person or the situation. I haven't said you know what. I'm still mad about this. Yeah, I know it was three years ago. I'm still mad about it and you know it's still impacting me. I obviously haven't gotten over it.
Speaker 1:But I've also learned that the minute I communicate as challenging as it is, learned that the minute I communicate, as challenging as it is, the minute I communicate my distress or however you want to put it, once I've sort of communicated it and I've put it on the table, I think my brain says well, at least you got to say what you wanted to say and you're not left with anything. Now, whatever the person says back to you, you're not left with anything. Now, whatever the person says back to you, that's a whole nother story. You know you have to accept also what's coming at you when you're, when you're in these conversations, that they're not going to show up the way you want them to. It's not a bowl of cherries. Listen, full self-expression makes other people uncomfortable, like what you said.
Speaker 2:Yep Really uncomfortable.
Speaker 1:You are fully self-expressed. You will be judged because it does make other people uncomfortable, like what you said. Yep, really uncomfortable, fully self-expressed. You will be judged because it does make other people feel uncomfortable, because they also want to be fully self-expressed, but then they've got all their stuff going on. You know, have you ever been I? I asked the audience, I'd love to hear have you ever been in a situation where you saw someone just be, however they want it to be, and your thoughts are like that person, crazy, like what is going on with that person? They should just, you know, shut their mouth or go sit down. Why are they wearing that? Or whatever the heck it might be. Whatever their level of authentic, full self-expression is, it does make people feel uncomfortable because most of us don't walk around being fully self-expressed, and that is why it's so important to me that people have access to that. However, it is for them. That's the most important and that's why I do the work I do.
Speaker 2:I agree. It is very important and it is very stressful for people to be fully self-expressed. I find too, especially in 2024, where everything you do is everywhere, how you act, you make one mistake. It is with you and stuck with you for the rest of your life.
Speaker 1:I can't imagine. I can't imagine. I can't imagine I had. You know, I had a tumultuous time in high school and I can't imagine having cameras, having phones, having whatever you know, instantaneous access to you know people's mistakes.
Speaker 2:Forever and all of it Forever.
Speaker 1:Yeah.
Speaker 2:Your history can no longer be erased. You don't get a fresh start.
Speaker 1:You don't get a reset button and you know I can. We see this show up years and years later when somebody's trying to do something good and oh, they did something wrong when they were 16, yeah, and it's like, okay, they were 16 and yes, it could be something horrendous but it was 50 years ago yeah, you know, and they've outgrown that, they've done the work and they're on the healing journey and I mean we could get into a whole nother podcast conversation that conversation?
Speaker 1:maybe we should, because it is about healing. And how does it look like when we as a community, we as a consciousness, allow people the space to heal? Because a lot of times we don't even allow people the space to heal because it's ugly. Feeling the space like the healing space might be tranquil, you might hear nice noises and you, you might feel like in the moment, comfortable, but you know it don't look, it doesn't look nice when you're bawling your face off or you're screaming or you're whatever it is that you're doing in the midst of it and people are uncomfortable.
Speaker 2:We want everything to be smooth and calm and comfortable yeah, it's like a box, it's like our box, you know our little. Step outside the box and see what life is like for a minute. It's very different, right, very, very different. And I think if we allowed people the self-expression to heal even so, let's just, you know, be fully self-expressed in there. You know they screwed up, they messed up, whatever it was, you know, 20 years ago, six months ago.
Speaker 2:People can heal and people can change. I'm not saying everyone deserves 60 chances either. Okay, like, can't make the same screw up multiple times, but, um, everyone, like you said, what you're doing, what you're providing, is to give everyone that space and most people, I would argue, do not have that space and so to create that opportunity for people wherever they are in the world because you know we live in a time where they can do that. They can come to you and be like you know they're 12 hours ahead, but I need that space, yeah, and you can provide that for them, and I think that's a beautiful message and it's wonderful. And it takes something to take on people's stuff too. You know, to be that person that can take on the stuff, you know I can imagine life coaching you hear all kinds of things kind of like how I imagine counselors feel and therapists feel Yep, you hear stuff and then you got to figure out. I guess where the reiki comes in is. You know, get rid of the stuff, put up that barrier yeah, it is.
Speaker 1:It's a profound honor to be part of the process. For someone who is willing and courageous enough really truly is, you know, brave. For for those who are willing to say, okay, you know what, something's not working and I just I want to say that nothing's wrong and nothing's broken. And we use those words all the time. There's something wrong with me, I'm broken, I need to be fixed, fixed. I've said those words many, many times myself. But there's nothing wrong and there's nothing broken and nothing needs to be fixed. We just need to alchemize it and transform it, and, and when we do that, that's when the acceptance can come in and the forgiveness and the truth and freedom Sounds simple.
Speaker 2:Sounds very simple. I think actually that's like the most beautiful place we could end off. Wow, yeah, I think that was perfectly said, beautifully said.
Speaker 1:Thank you. Thank you, Sarika, for taking this, having this wonderful conversation. We've got to do it again. It would be fun.
Speaker 2:Different topic. You know, figure it out. I am well now I get to say it. I'm Saruka Ganguly and I am your host for Healers. Talk Healing. And that brings us to the end of our episode with Nina Ganguly.
Speaker 1:Thank you so much. Thank you for joining us today on Healers Talk Healing. We hope you've been inspired and empowered on your holistic healing journey. If you've enjoyed today's episode and want to continue learning and growing with us, don't forget to subscribe, follow, rate and review our podcast. Your feedback and support mean the world to us. Remember healing is a lifelong journey and you have the power to transform your life in profound ways. Stay curious, keep exploring and never stop believing in your own capacity for healing.
