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Healers Talk Healing Podcast
The Healers Talk Healing podcast invites you on a transformative journey towards holistic healing, where we explore the mind-body connection, natural remedies, and ancient wisdom to empower you to live a vibrant and balanced life. Join us as we share inspiring stories, expert interviews, and practical tips to help you unlock your true potential and embrace a happier, healthier you.
Healers Talk Healing Podcast
Journey to Authenticity: In-Depth Exploration with Monica Alexander
Have you ever felt like you're living someone else’s script, constrained by their expectations? Join us as Monica Alexander, an authenticity and embodiment coach, shares her transformative journey from burnout in the TV industry to becoming a beacon of healing and self-acceptance. In this episode, we delve into the art of peeling back the layers obscuring our true selves. Monica illuminates the power of inner child work and the importance of shedding outdated narratives.
We confront the profound question: "Who am I, really?" Monica unravels this enigma, highlighting the courage required to challenge inherited beliefs and reclaim our intuition. Particularly for women, rediscovering intuition can feel like reuniting with a long-lost friend, long silenced by societal noise. Through vivid storytelling, Monica navigates the personal challenges and victories that come with aligning to one's true self amidst external pressures.
The path to self-discovery doesn’t merely lead to understanding—it cultivates deep self-love. Monica emphasizes the need to value ourselves from within, setting the foundation for healthier personal and professional relationships. This episode celebrates the journey of self-exploration, the joys of embracing a multifaceted identity, and the liberating shift from traditional life scripts to a life filled with authenticity and fulfillment. Join us in embracing a transformative narrative of self-realization and empowerment.
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Welcome to Healers Talk Healing, the podcast where we gather to explore the art and science of holistic healing, uncovering the secrets to a happier, healthier you. I'm your host, nina Ganguly, and together we will delve into the intriguing world of holistic healing, delving into the mind-body connection, ancient wisdom and natural remedies to the mind-body connection, ancient wisdom and natural remedies. Get ready for enlightening stories, thought-provoking expert interviews and practical tips that will empower you to unlock your true potential and embrace a vibrant, balanced life. Whether you're an experienced wellness enthusiast or simply curious about the power of healing, join us on this exhilarating journey as we share the wisdom and insights that can truly transform your life. It's time to embark on a voyage towards a happier, healthier you. So, without further ado, let's dive into the captivating world of Healers Talk Healing.
Speaker 1:Welcome to this episode of Healers Talk Healing. Today, I'm thrilled to have Monica Alexander, an authenticity and embodiment coach. Monica combines intuitive coaching with cognitive, behavioral therapy tools and somatic practices to help her clients embrace their most authentic selves. She specializes in coaching high-performing individuals through significant life transitions, empowering them to live life on their own terms. Monica's journey into healing began after severe burnout from working long hours in the television industry, which led to a range of health issues and a transformative sabbatical. This break allowed her to engage in deep self-discovery, inner child healing and a complete lifestyle change. Her experience not only brought her peace and clarity, but also propelled her into a new chapter as a healer and coach.
Speaker 1:In today's episode, monica will share how she creates a space for impactful and lasting change, guiding her clients to listen to their internal compass and be their own agents for growth. With a unique approach that is both gentle and provoking, monica helps her clients build self-awareness and trust, navigating the delicate balance between deep work and lightheartedness in healing. Join us as we dive deep with Monica and learn how to walk in our truth. I am so honored and so blessed to have Monica Alexander with us on this episode. We've done some preamble already, We've warmed up, we're ready to go and, of course, monica, I like the little shimmy here. If you can't see us, then go to YouTube and watch the video, but you know, I ask every single guest before we start to just get into it what is your definition of healing?
Speaker 2:Yeah well, thank you so much for having me, and I just love this question. I think I could go on for days on how to answer this, but essentially to me it means coming home to oneself, and there are so many ways one can do that. It's the unlearning of who you were taught you are by society, by family, by culture, religion, and it's learning who you are, or I should say, remembering who you are, who you were as a child, who you were before the world got in the way, before labels were thrust upon you, before you were taught you were not worthy enough. And so healing to me is really about that inner child work, me is really about that inner child work.
Speaker 2:As adults, I believe that the questions that we often have, you know, why am I depressed? What is my calling? How am I meant to serve? Why am I on this planet? Why are my relationships failing? We can look to our childhood and we can find those answers. And it is that inner child healing that was really the start of my healing journey, and it is the continuous going back to and unpacking my belief systems today, my thought patterns, my behaviors, the cycles that I find myself in. It's looking back at my childhood where I can usually understand the root of where those belief systems started. And it is in that self-awareness, in the start of the self-discovery, which is that self-awareness where I believe we can then change those patterns, then we can unlearn, then we can relearn and then come home to ourselves, which is essentially stepping into our authenticity and our truths, which is, funny enough, what I now refer to myself as, which is an authenticity coach. So, yeah, that healing inner child work is deeply, deeply important.
Speaker 1:Oh, I agree a hundred percent. I think there's so there's so many levels and so many things to look at there. But what I really got from what you're saying is the unlearning. You know we talk about learning, but the unlearning, the, the interrupting the unraveling of that, where we begin our journey, where we step into, oh, something has happened and I need to go look at that. And it's not learning something new, because I think innately, like inside of us, we know who we are. I mean, we came that way. So it's not to learn who we are we talk about I want to find myself, but it's about unlearning all of the stuff that we take on from. And I don't want to blame the adults, because it sounds like blame, but it's it's not. It's it's like it's your fault, but they also have to unpack all of their stuff and their stuff before that. None you know. We were just talking about these generational patterns that exist, that are so, um, most people are blind to you know. It's. It's looking at something.
Speaker 1:I remember when I was in the work world, in the corporate world, and one of the things I did was change management and so many people are like but this is working, why? Why would we want to look at changing something? And then you know but we could do it better or differently and achieve results differently. And I think we, the collective, we sometimes don't know. We have to interrupt a pattern. Like you know, you were saying something earlier about drawing people towards you and not understanding why this pattern continually existed because you weren't getting the results you were looking for.
Speaker 1:And it's then going back to look at because you weren't getting the results you were looking for. And it's then going back to look at huh, how, how did I get to this place? And then that comes with the whole, like it's not just how did I get to this place, how did we get to this place and I love the conversation that we were warming up in should press record before that and we'll bring it back. We'll bring it back, we'll bring it back. I love that you're an authenticity coach. So many of us are afraid to be seen. We want to be seen and we want to be seen at the level, at such an intimate, vulnerable level of who we actually are. We want to be seen with some certain oh, you can see this part of me, but don't see that part of me, listen that was the language that I spoke.
Speaker 2:Okay, I was. I was fluent in perfectionism. I vulnerability was not part of my vocabulary. I didn't know what it looked like to show up as my true self, because I hadn't been taught to.
Speaker 2:I've unpacked so much of this with my mom now, but when I started this journey, I harbored so much anger towards, you know, my family, because I felt that I had been taught to hide myself. And when I think about what they had been taught as well, I can now hold compassion for them, because I know that they had their own journeys. And this isn't just me, this isn't just them. This is, you know, intergenerational, this is also cultural. It's really, really been embedded. I'll speak specifically as a Black woman, because hiding ourselves and making ourselves small was a means of survival for quite a long time, and so the anger that I used to harbor was lack of understanding of the journey that they had to go through to survive. But the more that I had been on this journey myself and understanding where it started, why I did it, the more that I can hold compassion for others which, when they are in a state of being small, of not showing up because it feels unsafe to do so.
Speaker 2:It feels, extremely unsafe and even being an authenticity coach. Now, part of my journey and continuing to better myself as a coach is constantly coaching myself when I find myself in a place of are you being authentic right now? No, I think there's a little bit of conditioning happening and you're showing up in this way because you've been subconsciously taught to this isn't actually you right? And it's continuously talking about that, having those conversations with myself and then sharing that with others, which gives other people the permission to start to unpack that and unlearn that for themselves. And it's so interesting. You even brought it back full circle for me.
Speaker 2:I had a download as you were speaking, because I started this journey knowing that I had a vulnerability issue and now coming home to Authenticity Coach as just one part of my calling it's really the umbrella of my calling because there's so many things that I do within that, but it was essentially learning how to remove myself from that lack of vulnerability and understanding where that lack of vulnerability started. My siblings you know just about the type of things that I do share because I am so outspoken about the things that I have experienced, because I do believe it is so helpful to others, and I think that's the beauty in the work that we're we're both doing and many people are now starting to do, and that is the more that you show up authentically, you give other people permission to do the same for themselves.
Speaker 1:A hundred percent, I agree. I'm just like you can't see if you're not watching us on YouTube. I'm just nodding the whole time, cause I'm so, you know, vibing with what you're saying, because I feel the same way, like until you get the opportunity to see who you are. And there's this. I think this has been the struggle, because I remember I was like, okay, I, obviously I'm, there's a part of me that shows up, this gregarious, warm, loving human being. But behind that was a lot of anger, a lot of you know people pleasing, a lot of you know who am I really and you know I was sharing.
Speaker 1:When my father passed away, I actually did not know who I was because my persona was created in the image of who he saw me as. So he saw me as X, so I was X, but I knew that I wasn't X. But I didn't know what else to be or who else to be. And I knew I wanted to be authentically me, but I didn't know what else to be or who else to be. And I knew I wanted to be authentically me, but I didn't know who that was. I had no idea. So I guess my question to you as an authenticity coach is where do you begin to discover who you really are?
Speaker 2:Yeah, absolutely. I think it starts in building self-awareness. I think it starts with the unpacking of certain belief systems that we have. Why is it that I believe that I need to show up a certain way each day at work? Why is it that I believe that I have to, I have to lack in certain boundaries in order for people to love me? Why is it that I don't trust certain people? Yeah, why is it that in my relationship I have a really hard time letting them take care of me Right, take care of me Right.
Speaker 2:And it's starting to ask yourself those questions that you start to build awareness of where these thought patterns began. And once we can get to the root of them, which is generally in childhood, if not in childhood, in really really formative years usually, or really big, sometimes traumatic experiences in our life, these belief systems are built and starting there, we can start to unpack why we as adults now show up a certain way and then from there it's starting to really tune into, because I believe that healing is on a mind, body and soul level. You can't disconnect any of them. It's one reason why my approach is intuitive, cognitive and somatic, but it's really tuning into where in your body.
Speaker 2:Certain things are coming up for you, really sitting with yourself, finding moments of solitude to quiet the noise of your friends, of your family, of society, just really starting to listen to the thoughts that come up when nobody else is around, because generally that first thought of your friends, of your family, of society, just really starting to listen to the thoughts that come up when nobody else is around, because generally that first thought, not the second or third or fourth, but generally that first thought is really your true self, right, it's not the first, because the first could also be an inner critic, it's the second, and I bring that up because I think it's so important.
Speaker 2:I think part of this process is starting to tune back into your intuition, and this one is particularly important. It's important for everyone, but I love talking about it with women because as women we are so, so deeply intuitive and it comes. Generally. Everyone's intuition speaks differently, but it's coming from our body. But we have been so taught to disconnect ourselves from our body that we've disconnected ourselves from our intuition, which is our internal guidance system, and it is tuning back into that intuition that so many things start to click.
Speaker 1:Amen. To that. I say truth, it's, it's you're, you're right. There is a knowing that we have that we question. You know, when you're like maybe I shouldn't go to this thing or I shouldn't do this and I'll go anyways, and then you go and it's like, oh no, I should have listened. Or you step into a business relationship or a personal relationship or friendship and something just doesn't sit right. But the conditioning, the good girl, the nice person, the you know what I mean all of the stuff that happens like culturally in in my culture, in the South Asian culture, a lot of it is be a good woman, you know yes, bend, for everybody else yes you know it's like everybody else first.
Speaker 1:So then when you're when your radar comes on and you're like this doesn't seem cool to me, we put that aside for whatever else needs to happen in the moment, and then that's where the self gets lost, and it happens when we're very, very young. It's it, it's. You're absolutely right. Forget about anyone that's been. You know through my history of of abuse and manipulation and all of that stuff and grooming. But just in general, like just in general, this is the way. This is the way it is in our culture. So this is the way it it's. You know we show up and I, I know you, we're talking about women. Sorry, men, it's two women talking. So what?
Speaker 2:do you think is gonna be better about tuning into their intuition?
Speaker 1:you know, we absolutely my husband's intuitive ability, which he doesn't even know he has, like he can read people he doesn't know them from, from boo. But he'll say you know what? I don't? I don't think you should do business with this person or I don't really like this person has come into your life but I don't really trust them and he has no idea why.
Speaker 1:And for a long time, me being who I am, I was like you don't know what you're talking about, forget it, I'm not listening to you. And then I started listening after I had enough coaching and guidance and everyone's saying your husband is extremely intuitive. You need to, you know you don't need to protect yourself from his guidance. Uh, I started saying, I started opening up too and saying, yeah, okay, I, I agree with you. There's something off about that and what I learned from my own, uh, in authenticity, which I'm still on, you know, they always say right, we always say it's like onions, onion layers, just coming off, one at a time. But that person that I projected out there in the world like the gregarious, the warm, the nut, that's part of actually who I am.
Speaker 2:Yes.
Speaker 1:It is part of my essence and to not, you know, not say that I'm. I still walk around feeling like I was two people the the one at home and then the one out in the world. And the one out in the world is constantly lying. You know, are you okay? Everything's great, everything's wonderful, and at home, constantly lying to keep the peace, so. So then, where is that authenticity? And I discovered that I felt more free, obviously, outside of the home. So that was who I was, more authentic, more authentically. And you know, now I'm like, yeah, that this is part of who I am. It's not someone I made up, it is part of me. Join the miracles directory, where healers connect and wellness begins. Join a community of trusted holistic professionals or find your path to healing and peace. Visit the miracles directorycom.
Speaker 2:Start your journey today both the tuning into your intuition as well as the um, the self-awareness is because, as women, learning to tune back into our intuition because we've never lost it, we've just been taught to disconnect ourselves from it men as well because there was a time when men were as intuitive as women and because men have been pulled so far away from the feminine aspect of them, which they also have we all have masculine and feminine within us they're even more disconnected from it. But because it lives so innately in our bones as women, we don't realize that just tuning back into our intuition in itself creates so much self-awareness, because then you're learning to listen to that voice that is always there. Sometimes it's just become really, really, really quiet because we need it to quiet it in order to survive. But once we tap back into that, it's starting to. You know those moments when we say, well, no, I don't really know, no, actually I do know. And to listen to that knowing and move forward no, I don't really know, no, actually I do know. And to listen to that knowing and move forward with that knowing. And to really listen to the way that your intuition speaks to you, because it does speak to us each differently.
Speaker 2:You can then start to relearn and, as we both said, it's not really learning and finding ourselves, it's coming back home to ourselves, because we had that know as children, because we had that no as children or we had that knowing in our makeup before you know. Society got to our lineage and forced us all into this place of survival so that we did turn off that aspect of ourselves. But it is still there and we can always come back to it, and so I believe it's so important to bring in the intuitive aspects of coaching honestly into the work that I do, because coming back home to my intuition has been a huge part of my healing journey. Like you said, you always, we always always know, you know something might play out that's really, really harmful or terrible, and we always say I knew it I hear from women all the time, and specifically when they're in relationships with, with partners, that it's not working and something's going on.
Speaker 1:And they will say, I knew something was just slightly off, but it wasn't, or they're they couldn't hear their voice loud enough. You know, because you know how we on the outside can quiet it. We on the outside can see like, oh girl, you shouldn't be with that person, or even whoever it is you know men, women but you can't see it, or you. It's not just the conditioning, though. It's like the want to be loved, the want to be needed. I guess it's part of conditioning. If you're looking for love in all the wrong places, even in business relationships right, business relationships are so much like any other relationship you might grab onto a business partner. That's not good for you because you're not feeling whatever the lack is and you feel inside of yourself. You see, oh, they can do this.
Speaker 1:I've done it myself a couple of times actually in my life. It's like, oh, oh, well, you've got this and so I don't have that, so I'm gonna partner with you. And then I realized when I got that too, and now I don't really like where this is going anymore, and you can feel it inside, and then you, if you can take a moment to look back, what I discovered in those relationships is oh, this is a pattern of codependency. It started here and then it's like oh, here it's here, then it's here, then it's here. And that codependency comes from not feeling worthy. Oh, because I was told at some point I wasn't worthy unless somebody else told me I was worthy. So I need someone else to do that for me. Yeah, takes the work.
Speaker 2:You have to be willing to do the work, though you can take, uh, you know, you can look at all of your past relationships and identify that, whether they were, you know, one week, three years, uh, very, very, very, uh impactful or just a short stint of, like a love affair, you can start to connect where the lack of self love was and you can start to piece together why you came out of each of those relationships feeling as sorry I curse, but not sorry, feeling as shitty as you do, because you realize that actually the way that you feel at the end of those relationships is is indicative of where you were in terms of love of yourself beforehand, the voids that you had going into that relationship, the worthiness or lack thereof of yourself, the confidence or self-trust you did or didn't have, and how each of those people were. Also a mirror of where you were.
Speaker 1:Yes, unfortunately, you know, I'd say lost people finding other lost people trying to find directions. Neither of us knows where to go.
Speaker 2:I don't want to judge anyone, because we've all been there. Lord, have I had a lot of lost?
Speaker 1:relationships. Oh my gosh, oh my goodness, it's very easy to get lost in another when you don't know you know where you are in yourself. And I was watching this comedian. I wish I remember his name, but one of the things in his, in his act where he got a little serious was you know, he said. He said you know, I wonder why people get into relationships to find love before they found it for themselves. Because it makes it so challenging when you're trying to find love for yourself and then to get into another, not another, a serious, committed relationship with another who's probably also trying to find love for themselves.
Speaker 1:And you know, maybe we do things a little backwards and if we could flip the switch in our culture and start talking and I know it's starting to happen it's taken a minute to get to that place where what's more important is how you love yourself, because then that just spills over to everybody else. It's not like you're not the last person to drink from the cup, you're actually the first person to drink from the cup. So then you, there's enough for everybody else. And I remember you have from the overflow, right, cause I remember my, these little, you know these little things that you remember, as you go along and you're healing, my dad would tell me all the time you know you never ask someone if you look nice. Dad would tell me all the time you know you never ask someone if you look nice. You wait for them to tell you. And then if someone tells you you look nice, then you look nice, I'm like, okay.
Speaker 1:So that's how I grew up. So I needed outside validation to, to, to, oh okay. So now I'm a good person. Okay, if you say I'm a good person, then I'm a good person, but if you say I'm a bad person, then I must be a bad person. There was, there was nothing there of myself in there. And I remember the first time my daughter asked me if she looked beautiful and I asked her do you think you look beautiful? Do you think? Because my opinion doesn't matter really at the end of the day, what matters is your opinion of yourself to go into this world, and same with my son. I, you know, I, I, I think I've reared them both. The same is, you know, if you feel you look good, to hell with whatever other people think or say. Or it doesn't matter If you think you did your best, if you are happy with what's going on, then none of our opinions really matter.
Speaker 2:I agree, and that is that work that you are now doing as a parent is the very reason that I have continued to do this work, because I want to bring that to my children and to my family. I want to take all the beautiful things that I did learn from my parents and leave all the things that were learned from their parents and the parents before them, et cetera, et cetera, and teach my children to come from a place of internal guidance and validation internally and not needing to seek it from outside sources, not needing to find their worthiness in the doing instead of the being, knowing that they're inherently worthy just as they are, and not because they look, act, produce, etc. Etc. How they show up in the world, but just to be worthy and valuable, just as is, no matter how they are on any given day yeah, that's a, that's such a.
Speaker 1:It's a gift. It is definitely a gift, but watch out parents. When you teach them to be that way, you won't get some stuff. You don't want to listen. You have your own opinion. What, what?
Speaker 2:but that's right, that's so. What's the beauty of this work as well? Because those triggers also tell you where you still have work to do right and showing up in ways that you're like why am I so upset about? You know, that's probably work that you still have to do, but you've done such a beautiful job in teaching them how to show up and not need that validation from you that you might find that Okay. So actually, maybe there is a part of me that's still seeking a little bit of validation, even through my children needing me, and so in this moment, this is actually about me and not about them, right?
Speaker 1:Well, it's always an inside job, always. Oh, there's never anything outside of you. You know, cause we create our own reality. So it's really about how we, how we show up, and it's it's funny that you were talking about, you know, the. It's the beingness you know, it's not the doing. You know you be, do have, and we, we are taught you do and then you have and then you be, and I think that's it. Like, kids are always asked what do you want to be when you grow up? But not from the perspective of I want to be kind, loving, you know, generous, curious.
Speaker 2:What do you want to produce?
Speaker 1:Yeah Right, you know, generous, curious, you want to produce. Yeah right, it's like well, we're expecting to hear a want to be a doctor, a lawyer, I don't know, a fisherman or whatever, a something, but not a someone which is, which is such such a a miss for us as human beings, with with the children is. Can you imagine if a children's of a child said that to you, like good job, I just want to be a kind, loving human being, exactly, and you just bring to everything that you do?
Speaker 2:exactly. And then, to take it even further than that, something that I unpacked for myself just, uh, this year was the fact that, as children, we're also asked what we want to be. And yes, yes, that's usually an association with some form of career, or how you produce and give back to the economy, et cetera, et cetera. But beyond that, we're always expected to have one answer.
Speaker 2:We're expected to just be one thing, and that also is such a disservice to us as humans, because we're multifaceted and multidimensional, and that puts us on a path as well to not being our authentic selves, because it tells us we have to move towards one thing and be one thing our entire lives oh wow, glad you said that, yeah, and it is living in that oneness that forces us to deprive ourselves of so many aspects of ourselves that are meant to be nurtured and cultivated, and for many people, this does lead to also burnout, but it leads us to hide parts of ourselves that are also so important, and that leads to lack of contentment, that leads to a lack of, you know, self-worth or hatred towards ourselves.
Speaker 2:For, you know, being in a career that's super successful, yet actually want to do this really super artsy thing, but we can't do that because we've been told to do this one thing our entire lives. And and I feel like that has been such a curse like even more so for, you know, generations prior to mine because I feel like, you know, even watching my mom stay in one career her entire life, that she didn't even want to be in, quite frankly, but because she felt that that was the career that was going to provide for us. And, in hindsight, if she had, even, you know, just a few years ago or even now, let herself explore this aspect of her that was really, really true to her, she'd be have been so much more fulfilled, right, right, but that is not what we are taught no right, stay in your career for 30 years, get your pension, get out, take care of your kids or your family or whatever it is you're taking care of, and then yeah out, you get.
Speaker 1:You know what I mean away and um, just incentive to this right.
Speaker 1:Get your retirement fund, get your own k isps, like, just make sure that you've got stability right and it's. It's so interesting because the stats show that once you retire, you don't. A lot of people don't live very long after they retire because they have. They don't know what else to do. Yeah, because you're right. We're not cultivating all the different parts of us at different dimensions, like, yes, I'm a strategic person in business, but I'm also creative and I'm also an energy healer and once upon a time those two things couldn't be together in the same sentence yeah you know, and now I'm like, yeah, 10 years ago it wouldn't have been in the same sentence for me.
Speaker 1:You, as we explore and we learn and we get to understand more about ourselves, I think discovery is good. It's not easy.
Speaker 2:No, no, I always tell my clients this there's stuff about yourself.
Speaker 1:When you just showed up as a goal, right, You're like yes, that was me.
Speaker 2:I did that, yeah, and I'm actually, you know, there. I read this book. I forgot who the, I think you know I don't want to get the author wrong, but it was called the uh, the big leap, and it talks about something called the upper limit problem, which I find so fascinating, um, and I always talk to my clients about it and bring it into healing conversations like this one, because it is all about how, when we're, you know, when we're in a state of bliss, like when we've gotten that promotion or we're doing well in our relationship, where life is just going well we as humans, we have to fuck it up Because we've reached this point of like bliss and joy that it's just. It becomes so unbearable because we're so not used to letting ourselves feel joy, because to feel joy is such a vulnerable thing to do.
Speaker 1:Yeah.
Speaker 2:And I feel so much more comfortable to live in this state of neutrality, because then, if you get too excited, you could be disappointed. But if you don't live excited enough in that place of neutrality, then you're you get too excited, you could be disappointed, but if you don't live excited enough in that place of neutrality, then you're not positive enough, right, and that's also leaves you in a vulnerable position. So it's so fascinating and I bring it up because it's something that you know when my clients, you know they make 10 strides forward and all of a sudden it's like five strides back and they go deep into this dark place and they're really, really hard on themselves and I always hear you know, gosh, I just feel like I've taken like several steps back and like I'm so angry at myself and I just have to remind them like this is the work that you're doing. It's learning to find comfort in the discomfort and understanding that this is just. This isn't just part of the journey. It's the ebbs and flows and it feels really uncomfortable One to start to move towards something that is actually something you really, really want, and seeing that progress is both like wow, this is amazing, but your subconscious is a tricky little thing and it's going to start getting in the way and telling you hey, you know, bring it down a notch.
Speaker 2:You don't actually deserve that. You know that success or that contentment or that joy. And in those waves, what you're also doing is going through grief, because you're having to remove yourself from a past version of yourself and there is a deep, deep, deep level of grief that happens with that that people do not realize when starting this work.
Speaker 1:Oh, girl, I'm like you. You verbalize that so well. That's the place where you're like F is happening right now. You know I wanted X, like we. You know, in my tribe of wonderful people that I have, we call it creating a created life. And to live a created life is not a simple thing, because your brain does all kinds of crap to you in the midst of when you're reaching all of those goals and all of those things not necessarily even goals like, even like saying to yourself oh, I am not this person who's going to allow this to happen in my life anymore. I'm not going to allow codependency, but you've only been codependent your whole life.
Speaker 2:So now you're like, oh so to suddenly not be codependent is extremely uncomfortable. Yes, because now you have to speak up. Yeah, exactly, and you know what, in terms of going back to like our most primal selves, it's really, really uncomfortable to put yourself in a place of not being dependent on others, because being dependent on others equated to survival at a certain point. So when you're starting to unlearn these aspects of yourself, it's going to feel extremely, extremely unsafe. But whereas once those did serve you, they no longer serve you because you don't have to live in that state of survival anymore. And, further to that, if you've always been in a state of whether that's, you know, abuse or extremely traumatic relationships experiences, if you're also used to really being in unsafe situations, safety feels unsafe.
Speaker 1:Oh my gosh, so freaking true, and I think one of the things I want to bring up is that our brains are developed over a millennia to be in survival mode. So when anything seems uncomfortable, you're like well, okay, no, so that 10 steps forward and five steps back is just going to be part of the journey, because our brains right now haven't evolved enough to let go of that. Well, there's no saber tooth tiger coming. It's like our brains just think oh, we're uncomfortable, we're going to die. That's it. You know, it's built to survive.
Speaker 2:That's it, nothing more, more, nothing less. We are going to die actually, oh my god saying yes to that thing.
Speaker 1:I'm gonna die. Well, you know you're not gonna die and that's that.
Speaker 2:That's a flight. A flight fight or freeze, right, and it's. It's so interesting to also unpack how each of us um, you know, we do go into that coping mechanism depending on the situation or depending on the person like. Depending on the situation, I might find myself in freeze and others I might flee real quick.
Speaker 1:Oh, and sometimes fight oh and often fight.
Speaker 2:It might be actually a combination of all three. I might, I might fly, I might come back and fight and then I might freeze, you know. And so healing is it's.
Speaker 1:It can be really, really, really triggering, um and uncomfortable, but it can also be so much fun at the same time, you know oh, it is when you can look back and laugh at the journey that you've been through, like you know, and see it with with less drama. Cause man, healing is dream. I am a drama queen, so of course my healing is even more dramatic. Everything is is like this soap opera that happens and I'm like, wait a minute, oh, shoot, that soap opera started again. We need to end that series. Oh, we don't create the drama, but I just I loved our conversation that we've had today. It's been so beautiful.
Speaker 1:I would love to have you back on so we can continue these wonderful, deep conversations. You're all the way out there in amsterdam. I haven't been to that part of europe yet, but it's definitely on my list now. You did say, monica, that you have a blog and things that you share, so I'd love to hear how we can get in touch with you. I know you're on the miracles directory, but where else can we find your juice?
Speaker 2:Yeah, absolutely so.
Speaker 2:First and foremost, I am an authenticity coach, but I'm also a movement coach, so what that means is I also host healing workshops for men and women for you to really get reconnected with your body, because that has also been such a huge part of my journey, and I do dance, and so I understand the importance of being connected to your body and how that also helps you tap back into that inner wisdom and really start to listen into what your body is trying to tell you, which, if more of us did that, I really believe there would be less burnout, there would be less of the health issues that many of us face and a lot of us would get ahead of a lot of the things that we experience if we could, if we could, tune into our bodies more.
Speaker 2:So I do host those workshops. But to speak further to how people can reach me, I do have a blog. It is called the World I Travel Within Myself, so just wwwtheworlditraveled past tense, withinmyselfcom. And then I have my website where you can find my coaching offering, which is monicaalexandercoachingcom so very easy, but M-O-N-I-C-A-L-E-X-A-N-D-E-R coachingcom. And that speaks to my six month authenticity coaching, liberation coaching program, and I will be talking more and more about my movement coaching as well, very soon.
Speaker 1:Awesome. Thank you so much. This was such a beautiful conversation. Thank you for your time. Thank you for the work that you do, helping people find themselves, unlearn things and relearn things. It is so important for us to walk in the light of who we are, so thank you for doing the work that you do.
Speaker 2:Thank you, I really appreciate you bringing me on. I look forward to more conversations, me too.
Speaker 1:Take care. Thank you for joining us today on healers talk healing. We hope you've been inspired and empowered on your holistic healing journey. If you've enjoyed today's episode and want to continue learning and growing with us, don't forget to subscribe, follow, rate and review our podcast. Your feedback and support mean the world to us. Remember healing is a lifelong journey and you have the power to transform your life in profound ways. Stay curious, keep exploring and never stop believing in your own capacity for healing.
